Is it possible to born a midwife? In hindsight I realize I have been on a quest to surround myself with birth my entire life. I never knew it meant becoming a homebirth midwife until realizing that's exactly what I am- exactly who I have been being made into.
As a young girl I was fascinated with pregnancy. I had an unusual interest in things like what it feels like to carry a baby, how babies grow in the womb, and how breastfeeding works. I remember wanting to ask these questions of pregnant women I knew, but I just didn’t know how – how do you say “what is your baby doing right now?” to a random pregnant lady your parents have over for dinner? I needed more regular and open access to the phenomenon of pregnancy to better satiate my curiosity.
Then when I was 13, I somehow convinced my mom that it was a good idea to have one more baby- and bam my brother was born (that's how it works, right?). This was my first experience with birth: an incredible amount of work and refinement for my mother- and then deep, deep joy and the surprise of love that is instantly multiplied. Working that out in my tiny teen brain, I was already starting to see how birth changes everything, and everyone. I was hooked.
Admittedly, as young adults do, I wound my way through some other random life things before coming back to birth. (Fun fact: I worked as a state police dispatcher for a while; calm communicator under pressure- check!) However, what I really wanted was to be around families and babies. A door opened for me to become a doula in 2013 (enter Tiffany, one of my doula mentors!) I hobbied around doulaing here and there for a few years but quickly realized I spent a lot of time in hospitals for someone who didn’t want to actually work there. I knew there had to be a better way to birth than the constant restraints of timelines, rotating staff and standard procedures.
My first experience with midwifery came as I crossed paths with a local midwife looking for help in her office. My mind was blown at the amount of love and care I witnessed there- it did not even match 10% of what my doula clients were getting from their hospital-based providers. How did I not know about this? And how could I get more of it?
I quickly wiggled my way into assisting this midwife at births- where families birthed and welcomed their babies in the dark and quiet of night – not a fear escaping their lips, where complications are met with trained and skilled hands, where the midwife defaults to patience and compassion. And the rest is history! I finally connected what I was experiencing with what I had been searching for my whole life – the thing I was made to do: help families welcome their babies in comfort and with confidence.
I wasn't planning on becoming a midwife but this midwife I worked with insisted over and over that I was made to be one. I didn't get it at the time but thankfully, we get to have people in our lives with vision FOR us, who speak life OVER us and I stored up her kind encouragement in my heart. This encouragement was balanced by humble truths from other sweet friends *cough, Tiffany, cough* who for sure encouraged me to NOT go to school because midwifery is a hard, long road.
Here is the thing, folks: I needed both of these things. I needed someone to pull gems out from deep inside me, to see something I couldn’t see, and I needed hard truths to be shared with love – both were right – and this was my first experience of receiving midwifery care: nurturing, individualized, patient, truthful, wise. And now here I am, in the bliss of my postpartum time after my baby of a midwifery degree was just recently born ( you see what I did there?). I did it! I survived! I planned, prepped, surrounded myself with a dream team, cried, celebrated, and grew so, so much. And I’m talking about school here, but I think you get the analogy.
So as I sit here, fresh off of clinical and practical learning in the community, and I’m still bursting with the doe-eyed love for all things pregnancy and birth that I felt 25 years ago. As I gush over my new little midwifery baby, I’m on the other side of this experience and I’m armed with knowledge, skills, and the desire to see a shift in the status quo maternity care in the US.
I crave to see the light in the eyes of clients as they realize their midwives truly hear them and care about them as individuals – as they realize their goals are coming to fruition – that there is more. And so I work hard to create space for this opportunity for change and growth and true autonomy. I am so honored to step into a group practice with excellent midwives, boss business owners, and some of the truest friends and upright women I know. I could not be more humbled and honored to join with them in offering to walk alongside you on your journey; it is exactly where I want to be.