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Wine & Gyn Episode 20: Sex vs Making Love

What we want as women is to be making love allll the time. We want the emotional depth and the level of intimacy and vulnerability with our partners that bond and attach us together. We want special experiences, especially on milestone days like holidays, date nights and vacations. Making love makes us feel valued, special, wanted and connected.

The height of sex is the physical experience, the orgasm is the main focus, it might be faster, it might be quicker, it might be slightly distracted in nature. It might be wonderful and satisfying, but in a physical need way. There is a place for these kind of sexual events for sure and most women express that this is the bulk of their sex lives.

The depth of making love is not always orgasm-centric. It might be slower, more deliberate, more eye contact, more sensual, and feelings based. There is a general enjoyment of the other person- being centered on your partner’s pleasure, while they are centered on yours. Kelly & Tiffany both believe there has to be emotional love present in order to cross the threshold from just sex to making love.

Kelly & Tiffany also believe you can’t make love without communication. You have to care enough about your partner to be vulnerable and open to express this love. A healthy committed relationship has sexual connections that are deeper and more emotional. It’s important as women, that we see those vulnerable and open parts of our partners too. It’s a worthy thing to work towards and work through when it’s not as present in your sex life as you are wanting.

Sometimes making love can be a communication in and of itself. There could be sexual tension, everyday tension, or some waves in your relationship that can benefit from that open and loving physical working out of making love.

Discussing these topics reminds us of the richness of the connection and experience. We want our listeners (and readers!) to think more often, more positively, more eagerly about improving these aspects of their sex lives. Will you let us know if this is the case for you too?

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